Pity, Empathy, Anger, Concern.. and the day is early!
I have a paper cut and I'm feeling sorry for myself; afterall it's like a cold. It's not fatal so nobody feels bad for you.. you just have to feel sorry for yourself. Blah, insert a smart alec tone of voice there! ANYWAY, so there I am drowning in the pain of this silly papercut when my husband calls.
It seems he's gotten the truck stuck today but he's out. Then there was the matter of the locked window. For whatever reason, the only builder's key to this house is the INSIDE garage door. The main garage door, like all doors are locked. This renders the key useless since you can't get inside the garage to use the door. So, a window was supposed to have been left open for him. My husband tried all the windows and gave the one that was supposed to be open one last push to get it open and his arms went through the glass. He said he's never seen glass break that easily either. Immediately I felt bad for him and forgot my silly papercut!! Our kids were there working yesterday and the only thing they can figure is that someone came behind them and locked it. He says he doesn't need stitches and is continuing on to the next job.
My real quandry is my ex husband. He has apparently taken to calling the kids and seemingly near tears want to know why they don't come around, he wants to do family things with them, blah, blah, blah. My son felt very guilty about this yet he'd try to make time and go there and the man is too busy. My son only takes one day a week off and on that day he has visitation with his daughter. I'd like to do family things too but the fact is.. the children all have their primary families now and extended family doesn't come as often as we'd like either. The thing about this though is that when the man calls them and blathers this garbage (keep in mind he wasn't there for them when they were young.) he's drunk. Now, also add that he quit drinking like.. maybe 12 to 15 years ago and has taken it up again. I'm so worried that with his drunken blubbering the kids are going to think it's their fault. You know, maybe if they visited more often he wouldn't be this way kindof thing.
I know I thought it was my fault for years. I couldn't fix him either. I became a person that did things I didn't like.. in fact, I didn't like myself. But, that's my fault. These are terrible, terrible burdons and yes, very erroneous ones to carry on your shoulders. They haven't really discussed this with me so I'm at a loss as to how to make sure they do not take on this guilt that is not really theirs to bare. One has said something.. vented apparently to my current husband and my husband thinks they know its not their fault. So, I try to gain comfort from that but I sure wish I knew... the ex's cross is not theirs to carry. Just, how can you not listen to that and come to that conclusion? I know, I would.
