My last post explaining where i'd been went under review ... and seems like it's been that way ever since.  Anyone that has come here from long ago might remember the dance i'd do if daughter left her fiance.. i've been a dancing! 

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For whatever reason I'm only getting lines instead of images..they are in my profile. Just a few...that's all.. just three.  Cherry Blossoms.   Maybe later I'll fix it but right now I have to go to work.

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I hate spring cleaning... it's seriously cutting in to my computer time!  I haven't posted to livejournal either cause I've been swamped!

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I was at the checkout of a K mart.  The clerk rang up $46.64 charge.  I gave
her a fifty dollar bill.  She gave me back $46.64.  I gave it back to her
and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor and gave her the
money back.  She became indignant and informed me she was educated and
knew what she was doing and returned the money again.  I gave her the money
back again, same scenario!   I departed the store with the $46.64.  This
actually happened to me in Austin at MoPac Blvd. and Parmer Lane.
They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.
===================
I walked into a Mickey D's with a "buy-one-get-one-free" coupon for a
sandwich.  I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard
that said "buy one-get one free."
 
"They're already buy-one-get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both
free".  She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.
They  Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.
===================

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them
shouted, "Look at that dead bird!"  Someone looked up at the sky and
said, "Where?"
They Walk Among  Us!
====================
 

While looking at a house, my brother asked  the real estate agent which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't  want the sun
waking him up every morning.  She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for
sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep up with that stuff."
They Walk Among Us!!
===================
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center.  One day I
got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was
open.  I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a
week."  He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"   Wanting to end
the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."
They Walk Among Us!
===================
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a
seat belt if she gets trapped.  She keeps it in the  trunk.
They Walk Among Us!
==================
 

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed  that the cases were
discounted 10%.  Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases.  The
cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount on each case.
They Walk Among Us!
===================
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to
the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never
showed up.  She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a
trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me,
"has your plane arrived yet?"
They  Walk Among Us!
===================
While working at a pizza parlor I  observed a man ordering a small
pizza to go.  He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would
like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.  He thought about it for some time before
responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces;  I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat
6 pieces."
Yep, They Walk Among Us!
===================

They Walk Among  Us, and they Reproduce, and Worst of All -- They VOTE!
 

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Kids came over for their birthday.  Trying to get everyone together at once is enough to add to my gray hair!!  Anyway,  two sons went to lunch with us.  One went home to get ready to see his girlfriend,  the other came home and waited for his sister whom he shares this day with.  They are not twins they are five years apart.  My daughter finally showed up and so did the youngest with the new baby.  As well as some friends of my husband's.  All in all, it was good except....

Yeah, I know, there is always a glitch.  My youngest daughter asked this lady friend how her grandaughter is.  Said grandaughter used to come visit in the summer and she and my daughter were attatched at the hips.  The young lady is apparently in college,  working and wanting to be a second grade teacher.  This is so wonderful.. right?  But then the grandmother went on about how the grandaughter has gotten fat.  Eats out of boredom or something.. this lady even puffed her cheeks out to make the point.  She had more to say about this girl and her weight.  Now, you might say it's none of my business and I tried to treat it as such.

But, I watched my daughter whom has bordered off and on with trying to be as skinny as she possibly can .. listen to this lady she had always admired speak.  I was beginning to get worried about the effect the conversation would have on my daughter but worse, I was appalled that she'd speak of her grandaughter this way.   Three good sentences and the rest not even out of concern for her weight and it's affects on the girl's health but that she didn't apparently look the way the lady thought the girl should look.  Is she overweight?  Probably not.  She probably weighs over 125 pounds.  I couldn't take anymore... now it was beyond the effect on my daughter and now it was just sickening to me. 

From my side of the room came,  "She's such an adorable girl!"  Do you think the lady would grasp the idea?  Oh..nooo... she replied with a yes, adorable but fat.  So, I got louder in my statement that she is adorable and wonderful and I received a dirty look but the subject changed.  The whole time this lady is talking this way about her own grandaughter she's holding my newest grandson like he's one of her own.  I got to hold him for about two minutes.  My grandchildren are the greatest.  I can't imagine finding fault with their weight. 

It's sad.. just sad that this lady is the way she is because this girl used to come every summer to spend time with them and I know she didn't last summer because of this.  And.. uhm.. she wasn't overweight.  She weighed more than 100 pounds but she's beautiful! My daughter has clearly been influenced by this too.   If I ever doubted where she got the idea of a need to be so skinny her face wrinkles I have today put that to rest.  I should have been concerned when it upset the lady that my daughter had become taller than her and she couldn't dress this little girl in the woman's grown up clothes and make-up to make her look pretty.

Dammit.. she's a beautiful girl!  (If I may say so myself.)  She doesn't need to look thirty when she's 10 years old.  Weight shouldn't be an issue unless it's a health hazzard.. Grandma should simply love her grandaughter unconditionally and be proud of her.  If you can't ... quit influencing the girls. 

Just... venting.

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1.My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
 
2.My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
 
3.My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock  you into the middle of next week!"
 
4.My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
 
5.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
 
6.My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear,! in case you're in an accident."
 
7.My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
 
8.My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

 9.My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
 
10.My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

 11.My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12.My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"

 13.My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

 14.My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"


 
15.My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

 16.My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17.My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

 18.My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
 
19.My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20.My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
 
21.My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
 
22.My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
 
23.My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
 
24.My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
 
25. And my favorite:My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day! you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

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I have a paper cut and I'm feeling sorry for myself; afterall it's like a cold.  It's not fatal so nobody feels bad for you.. you just have to feel sorry for yourself.  Blah, insert a smart alec tone of voice there!  ANYWAY,  so there I am drowning in the pain of this silly papercut when my husband calls. 

It seems he's gotten the truck stuck today but he's out.  Then there was the matter of the locked window.  For whatever reason, the only builder's key to this house is the INSIDE garage door.  The main garage door, like all doors are locked. This renders the key useless since you can't get inside the garage to use the door.  So, a window was supposed to have been left open for him.  My husband tried all the windows and gave the one that was supposed to be open one last push to get it open and his arms went through the glass.  He said he's never seen glass break that easily either.  Immediately I felt bad for him and forgot my silly papercut!!  Our kids were there working yesterday and the only thing they can figure is that someone came behind them and locked it.  He says he doesn't need stitches and is continuing on to the next job.   

My real quandry is my ex husband.  He has apparently taken to calling the kids and seemingly near tears want to know why they don't come around, he wants to do family things with them, blah, blah, blah.  My son felt very guilty about this yet he'd try to make time and go there and the man is too busy.  My son only takes one day a week off and on that day he has visitation with his daughter.  I'd like to do family things too but the fact is.. the children all have their primary families now and extended family doesn't come as often as we'd like either.  The thing about this though is that when the man calls them and blathers this garbage (keep in mind he wasn't there for them when they were young.) he's drunk.  Now, also add that he quit drinking like.. maybe 12 to 15 years ago and has taken it up again.  I'm so worried that with his drunken blubbering the kids are going to think it's their fault. You know, maybe if they visited more often he wouldn't be this way kindof thing.

I know I thought it was my fault for years.  I couldn't fix him either.  I became a person that did things I didn't like.. in fact, I didn't like myself.  But, that's my fault.  These are terrible, terrible burdons and yes, very erroneous ones to carry on your shoulders. They haven't really discussed this with me so I'm at a loss as to how to make sure they do not take on this guilt that is not really theirs to bare.  One has said something.. vented apparently to my current husband and my husband thinks they know its not their fault.  So, I try to gain comfort from that but I sure wish I knew... the ex's cross is not theirs to carry.  Just, how can you not listen to that and come to that conclusion?  I know, I would.  

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I have a paper cut and I'm feeling sorry for myself; afterall it's like a cold.  It's not fatal so nobody feels bad for you.. you just have to feel sorry for yourself.  Blah, insert a smart alec tone of voice there!  ANYWAY,  so there I am drowning in the pain of this silly papercut when my husband calls. 

It seems he's gotten the truck stuck today but he's out.  Then there was the matter of the locked window.  For whatever reason, the only builder's key to this house is the INSIDE garage door.  The main garage door, like all doors are locked. This renders the key useless since you can't get inside the garage to use the door.  So, a window was supposed to have been left open for him.  My husband tried all the windows and gave the one that was supposed to be open one last push to get it open and his arms went through the glass.  He said he's never seen glass break that easily either.  Immediately I felt bad for him and forgot my silly papercut!!  Our kids were there working yesterday and the only thing they can figure is that someone came behind them and locked it.  He says he doesn't need stitches and is continuing on to the next job.   

My real quandry is my ex husband.  He has apparently taken to calling the kids and seemingly near tears want to know why they don't come around, he wants to do family things with them, blah, blah, blah.  My son felt very guilty about this yet he'd try to make time and go there and the man is too busy.  My son only takes one day a week off and on that day he has visitation with his daughter.  I'd like to do family things too but the fact is.. the children all have their primary families now and extended family doesn't come as often as we'd like either.  The thing about this though is that when the man calls them and blathers this garbage (keep in mind he wasn't there for them when they were young.) he's drunk.  Now, also add that he quit drinking like.. maybe 12 to 15 years ago and has taken it up again.  I'm so worried that with his drunken blubbering the kids are going to think it's their fault. You know, maybe if they visited more often he wouldn't be this way kindof thing.

I know I thought it was my fault for years.  I couldn't fix him either.  I became a person that did things I didn't like.. in fact, I didn't like myself.  But, that's my fault.  These are terrible, terrible burdons and yes, very erroneous ones to carry on your shoulders. They haven't really discussed this with me so I'm at a loss as to how to make sure they do not take on this guilt that is not really theirs to bare.  One has said something.. vented apparently to my current husband and my husband thinks they know its not their fault.  So, I try to gain comfort from that but I sure wish I knew... the ex's cross is not theirs to carry.  Just, how can you not listen to that and come to that conclusion?  I know, I would.  

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I know I'm lagging... I know where the story is going I'm just having a hard time taking it in that direction.

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I know what direction I was going to take this story but am having a hard time getting there.  New readers, scroll down for the first part. 

Birthdays are nice..  and I had a long eventful weekend which included a visit to the "tax man."  Also, a grandaughter's gymnastic thing but we were told it started at one.  My husband has diabetes, I have hypoglycemia so we figured, eat lunch right before it and we'd be fine.  It didn't even start until after three.  Our sugar levels don't hold out that long. 

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Cinzia awakened with the disconcerting sensation that something was wrong.  A feeling that would be justified when she looked around at her surroundings,  trying to place where she was.  This was not her room.  What.. happened?  How’d she get here?  

Hazel eyes took in her surroundings.  She appeared to be in a what?  A loft? Warehouse??  But it was certainly quiet for what she’d think a warehouse  should be.  
Slowly sitting up on the couch she tucked her feet up under her, arms wrapping around her legs as she peered around.  She was indeed in a loft of sorts,  a section of the building that was a rather messy office and the main section of the warehouse below was in plain view.  Or, would have been in plain view had the lights been turned on.  But, where was the door?  

“Ah,  Sleeping Beauty has awakened.”  The voice seemed to come from nowhere yet everywhere.  Cinzia squinted to try and peer further into the darkness toward the sound of the voice.  She wriggled her toes,  yes, her shoes were still on.  She would just thank who ever this was and take her leave.   Good plan.  Never mind that she had no clue where she was in relation to her hotel and how to get there.  

“I don’t know about Sleeping Beauty but I’m awake and I’ll be leaving now,  thank you very much.”   She tipped her chin when she saw the person she vaguely remembered on top of the phone booth finally step out of a corner and into the center of the office.  At the same time the sound of her feet hitting the floor seemed to echo.  She pressed her hands in to the seat of the couch to push herself up but was stopped with one finger.  

The stranger had placed one finger on her chest and despite her pushing to stand he managed to keep her in place on the couch.  “Get your hands off me!”  The words that came from the girl seemed almost a growl, one she hoped would mask her growing fear.  She swiped at his arm to move his hand at the same time she tried again to stand only rather than feeling her hand land on his arm,  it hit nothing.  He moved his hand from her chest with that push to stand but with nothing holding her back she stumbled forward to the sound of his cackling.  

“Leaving so soon?”  Cinzia ignored the voice.  She searched in the darkness to find the stairs,  to locate a door.. to find her way out of here.  As soon as she saw the stairs she started toward them,  this time unhindered.  In the seemingly empty warehouse everything seemed louder than it ordinarily would.  Courtesy would dictate she thank this man for getting her out of the middle of what was likely an ugly situation but she felt just as uncomfortable now as she did out there at the phone booth.

The man shrugged and simply whispered,  though he knew she’d hear him,  “ Have at it just keep in mind you will not last long out there.”   

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A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
 Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
 "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
 You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN
 THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are
 we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!
Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen
 to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you 
CRAZY?
 Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them.
 You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt.
USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
 The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you?
 You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you
what it feels like when I'm driving."

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I am breaking into my break and my story to ask one question...

If you have an "ex" significant other..  and said ex is bothering and threatening your present significant other AND..AND newborn child... Do you simply tell present significant other to just ignore the pesky ex,  afterall you can't control her. OR.. do you stand up and take control of the situation and find a way to make the other person back off?

That's kindof for everyone in general. 

Yet, also, break it down further and the one being threatened and harrassed is the mother of the baby,  the ex is female and the significant other that seems to think he can't control what  his ex does or says.. what should anyone do IF anything?

It's MY daughter and grandson being harrassed and apparently threatened so I ask here only for a less biased perspective..Thank you. 

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My husband took off today to spend with me so this is going to be brief.

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The receiver was in her hand when she heard the second gunshot.  This time when she spun around she did see someone stumble backwards a couple steps.  Her heart first raced then stopped as she waited for the movie type step or two forward to be made.  Before the shot man just crumpled into a pile, hand over chest and he’d say his last words, gasp his last breath.

Her fingers clung tightly to the receiver and what happened likely in seconds seemed like an eternity.  “He’s… still.. alive?”  No way, that couldn’t be.  Her attention was drawn back to the phone once more with the squeal and then the recorded voice, “If you’d like to make a call please hang up and try again.”  Yes.. the phone!  If nothing else,  call the police.  Cinzia had a plan,  she would do something; right  or wrong she was calling the cops.  

As she reached slender fingers to the flap that would reset the phone, and give her the dial tone she needed to call 911 she heard the odd sounding thud.  Something had landed atop the phone booth,  perch may be small but it was there, she heard it and she was not looking up.  Letting go of the chrome flipper she pressed 9.. she tried to tell herself to breath.. something is up there.. just look.  Have to tell the cops something other than something’s sitting on the phone she’s  calling from and someone is shot.   Number 1 was pressed and  she tried to force herself to peer up but as she went to press that number 1 a second time she felt the cold fingers wrap around her wrist.

The voice,  seemed to come from herself yet it was loud enough for her to hear. “What are you doing?”  The girl’s heart stopped,  at least she swore it did yet all she could hear was the thumping as blood coursed through the veins closest to her ears.  In those seconds she tried to make what little she saw,  what seemed unreal and turn it around to make it real.. to keep it sane.  

The person that was shot,  it needed reported.  Maybe he only got shot in the arm and that would explain why he hadn’t seemed to die.  Still, he must need medical attention.  And this person now holding her wrist and preventing her from dialing that last number, exactly how did he get on top of the phone?  Jumped from above?  Of course, of course.  

Seconds, only a matter of seconds this all happened and the protected child suddenly had been brought in a world she didn’t know anything about.  With her free hand she tried to quickly shove the receiver between her shoulder and ear,  hang it up and and try once more to dial 911.  

The man was suddenly off his precarious perch and on the ground next to her.  With a yank the wire was pulled out of the phone.  From the force, the receiver yanked painfully across her ear and shoulder, bounced off her chin and fell to the concrete with a clang.  

The sound of the receiver hitting the ground was heard by the others in the park.  The arguing stopped,  and now footsteps made their way toward the pair at the phone.  This went unseen by Cinzia.    

Instead,  where fear had seemed to paralyze her she was now angry, an anger fueled by the pain.  With a force she never dreamed she could muster she tried unsuccessfully to yank her wrist out of the man’s grasp.  She heard his soft, almost taunting laughter at her effort and suddenly she was scooped up in his arms.  What she hadn’t seen was the look that crossed his face when he saw the group nearing.  Her fingernails dug into his chest in hopes that the pain would be significant enough that he’d drop her, giving her a chance to run but he just laughed.  

Then, the last she remembered was saying the words.. “Oh.. fuck.”  Cinzia knew she was in trouble now.  Dammit why hadn’t she’ stayed in the hotel room?  She was,  as soon as the words spilled through her lips,  passed out.   The stranger simply disappeared with the seemingly wayward girl leaving the crowd behind them.

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She was in a new place.  This quiet relaxing in a strange hotel was nearly intolerable.  There was nothing good on television.   She was tired of books more than that she was tired of sitting after that flight.  She needed to get out and walk. 

Tossing her feet off the bed she’d tried to relax in,  she jammed her feet into her boots,  grabbed the bag with the picture of  goofy looking clown, idly wondered who really ate at a place who’s mascot was a sharp nosed clown,  tossed the bag into the trash and threw on her jacket.  She’d learn,  she hardly needed a jacket but for now she wasn’t accustomed to the weather.  With a lack of humidity it felt cooler even if it wasn’t. 

Yep,  so many changes she’d have to grow accustomed to.  Life for her would be different.  All the little changes she’d seen so far occupied her thoughts as she walked the hallway of the hotel.  Swinging the door open to cool night air she glanced toward the sky.   It was so clear.  Crisp.  Airy. 

Hands were shoved into the pockets of her jacket,  the cool breeze  periodically drew brown tresses in front of her face and then it dawned on her,  airy.  The trees seemed more decorative in nature maybe?  By day she’d see there are wild trees and yucca but nothing like the woods at home.  Everywhere she looked she could see and that itself made her feel somewhat vulnerable.

 It seemed a very long time that she could hear only the sound of her boots hitting the pavement before it dawned on her she never called home to let her parents know she arrived in one piece.  Without a break in her pace she dug her hand in her pocket for quarters for a payphone.  At the moment, it hadn’t dawned on her that she was not only late for west coast time but her parents were probably in bed, had been in bed for a very long time.  They being three hours ahead of her now. 

Cinzia stopped at a phone booth.  The scent of ‘the beach’ hung heavy in the air.  That’s what she determined the smell to be.  Maybe salt water smells different?  She was far enough away from the beach,  and it was the middle of the night,  she didn’t see the piles of seaweed that had washed to shore and lay there to dry.  Adding to that the mixture of the Coppertone smell,  as if everyone lathered in it.  Perhaps that was a subliminal thought given the signs she’d seen. 

She could see the old wooden roller coaster,  a parking lot and a park.  A lot of shops and a sign, The Plunge.  She really would have to come out here during the day.  She also heard people off in the distance, on the other side of the park.  Cinzia also saw the people off in the distance,  seemingly in an argument.

“Testosterone levels must be high here?”  With a shrug she determined it wasn’t her business and dropped the quarters in the phone when she heard a shot.  Her head spun and she looked back at the people that had been arguing.   Sound travels fast so the deed had been done by the time she saw it,  yet the argument, from her vantage point seemed to go on as if nothing happened.  She kept watching and wating to see who would drop over dead. 

Then, she laughed silently when it dawned on her that a car probably backfired and turned back to the phone.  There was the matter of calling her parents.. remember?

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South Dakota from the Sky

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Cinzia,  a young girl fresh out of college,  was given the chance to go travel before she had to settle down.  She had this his last bit of time before she had to  become a self sufficient adult. Pittsburgh girl was going to be set loose on the sunny beaches of San Diego and she was excited at the endless, if not imagined possibilities.

 Her parents saw her to the security area of the airport,  both gave her hugs before letting her go.  Cinzia turned toward the security guards, emptied her pockets and set her bag up to be x-rayed.  In one smooth move she picked them up,  turned to look back and wave to her mother and father.  By now he had his arm around Cinzia’s mother in an effort to comfort the woman,  yet Cinzia could tell he would have cried with his wife if it wasn’t
thought to be less than manly.

The flight was long but she stayed awake,  her mother had arranged for Cinzia to have a window seat and she was in awe at how the world below her looked from the vantage point of the skies.  So much of it seemed to be broken up into squares.  Possibly why everything was considered to be “around the block?”  It was over the desert that she found most interesting.  The arid look of it yet she expected but there seemed to be places that were dark in contrast to it’s surroundings.  There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to this until it dawned on her… the ground is the same; it’s shadows.  But, we are in the sky and there are no trees.  What could be causing the shadows?  “Clouds.” The voice came from the person next to her, almost as if he’d heard her thinking.  He sat next to her and had seen over her shoulders what she watched.  He’d flown thousands of business trips and had seen that same look on many other passengers.  

The flight would come to an end,  she’d pass by the stewardess and barely heard the obligatory,  “Thank you for flying Delta” as Cinzia passed.  The remainder of the day was filled with picking up the rental car her mother had arranged,  checking in to the hotel and finding something to grab and carry back to the hotel.  Jack-in-the-Box hamburger, fries and chocolate shake.  She’d settle into her room with her food, rent a hotel movie and start exploring by day the next day.  

She should have stuck with her plan.  

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My daughter and her six week old bundle of joy came over today. It was the first I've seen her in a long time when she wasn't grumpy. However, I didn't get to post today so I leave you with this.. a vision that for a moment, can take you down a path to another time.. long ago. Enjoy.

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I was bored.. so, I did some quizzes.  They all say the same thing.. I am indeed a vampire, of the 1700's.. similar to Lestat.  It's just nice to learn this bit of trivia about myself.

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Cypress Gardens in Charleston, South Carolina.  We went and the truck broke down,  a part that was on national back order.  Go figure.  Our hotel bill ended up being way more than our mortgage for only two weeks.  But, we had to fill that time up with things to do.

One place we went was Cypress Gardens.  The water appears to be pitch black, like tar but it's not.  They have these sight seeing boats and while we were seated  in it waiting for it to fill up,  my husband and I could see this view off in the distance.  

"Look, over there!  How old do you think that is?"  We debated this structure.  I was in complete awe that anything clearly that old  could still have even parts of it standing.  Keep in mind I had no idea how old it was.  The stone of this structure looked as if the weather had taken it's toll,  I could imagine running my fingers over it and feeling the places that had been smoothed over from wind and rain.  

FINALLY!! The tour guide person climbed aboard and started to talk.  All of the guides we had down there didn't just spit history they told tales.  It was enriching, enlightening.. it was utterly entertaining.  You learned a lot without realizing it.  

He started out explaining the water, I have since forgotten.  I remember the aligators,  the flowers,  the cypress knees.. the odd tree roots but mostly I remember that structure there,  a church?  But it seemed to be in the middle of the water.  Maybe it had been a home before water got rerouted?  

The visions of my imagination were historically romantic.  The guide finally got to the topic of this crumbling looking building,  and asked if anyone had seen The Patriot.  Well no I hadn't.  This, he explained could be seen in the movie.  Something about Mel Gibson and special permission and I was squeezing my husband's knee..you know that,  "we must rent that movie and see this historical sight."  It'll give a visual of what it originally was.  

Romantic history went out the window.  This structure is made of plywood and concrete.  Now, that's just curious.. did they have those things back then?  "Then" was still undetermined to me but it was a very long time ago..right?  No, that building never was a whole building.  It was just what you see and made for the movie.  It was left as it does look like it belongs there and is rather cool.. but not nearly as cool as all those different possible buildings with some great historic story behind it that I'd imagined.   

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I've made a decision.  I think I am not going to leave.  After several hours of work and thought, and work.. (yes, it keeps interfering!)  I don't want to quit writing.  I can move to another blogsite but there will still be the same problem.  That being that I just may disagree with someone which is cool... but never do I intend to upset another person, I might but it's certainly not my intention. 

So..with that in mind,  I will state and re-state that while I believe a person's blog is their own to write as they choose,  I do think it's morally wrong for ME to write posts with the sole intention of insulting someone that has bothered me.  Yes, I will write when things upset me but I don't write just simply to be spiteful or nasty.  If you think it's okay for you do so.. have at it.  It's your blog, I just don't have to read it.

Most importantly,  if i have an issue with another blogger it will be taken up directly with that person and not ever named here.  Period.  I don't care if you piss me off.. it happens.  That doesn't make it right to announce it to the public, it is wrong, dead wrong and so totally unkind.  That is my own opinion.  If your opinion differs then have at it.. you are the one that must sleep in your bed at night and I must sleep in mine.  I respect your right to be rude. 

Now, if you don't like something I said.. perhaps because you totally disagree with it,  fine.  It happens.  But please do NOT send me a comment, good or bad and think I will ignore it.  To ignore a person's efforts, good, bad or indifferent is wrong.  So, if you disagree and don't wish to hear from me again,  I understand, that is your right.  Simply do not send me anything. Period. If you want clarification and don't like what I say, I understand... just don't respond and I won't attempt to apologize for the misunderstanding..

In fact, I am not again apologizing, whether I did it right or wrong, front door or back door,  for my own opinion.  I wish no apology for yours ..you are entitled. The same as I am entitled and if we don't agree lets be adult about it and move on to the next post.  Simple.

This is the end of this topic.  I write for me and me alone.  If others enjoy it, I'm glad.  If it upsets other's I'm sorry.  I do not write for others therefore I am never directing anything to another person, unless so stipulated and it's not likely going to be mean if I can help it. 

Now.. back to my regularly scheduled blogging.. sometime. 

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Sometimes it only takes one irritation.. one misunderstanding for me to wonder just why I am here. 

My intention is not to upset people.  IN fact I thought I made it clear but, eh.. I was wrong.   What I forget is that people have a way of reading in to something what they want to hear..what justifies themselves.

Yet, in the process of trying, perhaps a bad attempt at an apology.. . an apology for something i honestly shouldn't have had to apologize for,  I have learned that written words are far too easily misunderstood with someone feeling the need to get the last word in..  making me the bad one. 

So.. I don't know, this might be my check out post.  Maybe I'll turn it private and keep going.. but when the idea of writing becomes ugly to me I tend to not want to stick around.  If I have to worry that what I say can hurt someone's feelings then, eh.. it's not worth it to me.  

For the moment I'm undecided but.. at this point I'm ready to check out. 

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Is there anything better than a bubble beard?

And why the need to clean my shower doors?  I used WD-40 on them awhile ago.. (IT WORKS!)

I guess I'm just glad any residue has been washed off.  Maybe I should have just thrown her in there with some Ajax and then I wouldn't have to clean the tub?   

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I start writing and keep ending up going on bitter tangents.  My grandaughter is here with me right now.  She slept until noon.  My son didn't know if I should wake her or not.  It seems when she's with her mother she's kept up late.  So now he can't break that cycle. 

I think now as I write.. he should let her sleep as needed then on the day he has to give her back to the mother,  wake her up early so the mother gets to deal with her cranky .. but maybe will be kindof forced to get this one back on a normal schedule.  Course that could be just wrong for the child.  

He's tried twice to get custody of her so the wee one has some stability.  Maybe the third time will be a charm.. he just has to wait his chance again.

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I am officially retiring those rose colored glasses I've been wearing all my life. 

After half a century.. yes I said it... they are apparently pretty darned scratched up leaving alot of what I see rather funky looking!

Now, what to replace them with.  Maybe some sunglasses so nobody will recognize the person behind the wild ideas I can come up with.

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This show just started..  Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?  You have to answer questions from 1st to 5th grade and win money.  This is semi comical... and of course anticipating that I am indeed smarter than a 5th grader I thought I'd answer the first question.  What month did Christopher Columbus arrive in the United States?  Hhmm..that holiday is not long after school started... SEPTEMBER!! 

It was October. This wasn't looking good.  We went through a few more questions with some relative sense that I'm not a total dolt when it dawns on me the children in the show have a decided advantage.. they just learned this stuff.  

This means, it's not that they are smarter.  It means we've had to learn so much more that fifth grade and below is filed so far back in to the recesses of the memory it's hard to remember.   Ask us something relevent and we'd blow those ankle biters away!

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Can you insult someone in a forum such as myspace or this space, or any public forum then try to claim that your rights are protected by freedom of speech? 

Legally, I think, as long as you do no actual damage to a person's career or otherwise ruin their reputation to a certain extent you can speak your peace.  

BUT, does that make it right?  I don't think so..  I don't think there is a forum where it is okay to be totally unkind.  The courts might find it tasteless  but won't do anything. So, how do you protect yourself?

I guess try to be as fair as possible.  Do you disagree with someone?  That's cool.. their idea may be dumb in YOUR eyes but that doesn't make the person behind the idea dumb.  (Replace the word dumb with any suitable word for the topic.)  Make sure you comment and it's known that it's your own opinion.  Afterall,  we all have opinions.  Sometimes,  they are wrong.  (Mine ~coughchokecough~ are always right I'm sure.)

Otherwise, try not to give anyone a reason to speak badly of you but it'll happen probably so try to have a tough skin.

On the other hand,  before you publish in a public forum unkind comments about another person ask yourself one question... How would you feel if someone did it to you.  Are you so perfect that you can judge another?  If you think you are then you are wrong .. so much for being perfect.  We all have flaws and faults.  We all make mistakes.  Understand that and forgive it.

And one other thing.  When you read things here you do not hear very important aspects of what is said.. Tone, inflection, intention.  You can say something completely tongue in cheek but to see it in writing it will look very bad just about every time.  

So, if you ever see something you disagree with on my blog.. that's cool.  But if it hurts you, PLEASE tell me because that is never my intention.   I like a good debate I don't like to upset anyone.  Always feel free to ask for clarification.   

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Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.

Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.

Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.

Idealists are rare, making up between 20 and 25 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.

The Four types of Idealists are:

Healers (INFP) | Counselors (INFJ) | Champions (ENFP) | Teachers (ENFJ)

( I asked my husband if I'm an Idealist and he said.. "mmm..sorta I guess.  In that you think things should be one way but their not."  He's right. ) 

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I never was good at talking to other people in some circumstances.  I speak my mind long before I give thought to the words that tumble right out of my mouth.  Needless to say I spend a lot of time apologizing for mis-speaking.

A couple of these blunders have remained memorable over the years.  There was the person that found out he had rectal or colon cancer.  There was a chance he might have to wear a colonoscopy bag and he really didn't want to do this.  After a few drinks he brought this up with me and with all the tact I could muster... no, I take that back because I didn't give thought to my repsonse until I heard it being spoken.  "Well I guess it's the bag or six feet under..take your pick."   DAMN!  I didn't mean to be that callous sounding yet there was truth behind those words.

Imagine my surprise when this man started laughing and was suddenly fine with whatever outcome may befall him.  I am quite thankful to say,  cancer was removed and he was fine and had no need for the bag that I DO understand would have been completely undesirable to have.  

Then, there was the pending 50th birthday for my father in law.  He started to put the hair dye in his hair to cover the graying but it tended to leave him with a shock of green tinged hair.  He was taking this particular birthday rather hard so this time I TRIED.. I swear I meant well when I tried to cheer him up.  I thought if I make the number smaller than 50 it would work.  I was sincere and truely well intentioned when I finally came up with the perfect and comforting thing to say.. "Don't think of it as 50 but instead half a century."

In my head it sounded good but as soon as it was spoken I realized how horribly bad it sounded.  In case I was confused at how horrid it sounded the look on his face spoke volumns.   I had not helped at all and the snickers of others in the room weren't helping the situation any.  

That was almost thirty years ago.  He's remembered that when I turned 50 and I think everyone else that has turned 50 since then too.  It's become a family joke..  that just won't die!  

Maybe someday I'll be someone a person can come to when they need comforting but somehow I doubt it.  I care mind you,  I do.  I just never come up with any words of comfort and when I do.. they are horrible.  Comical but horrible! 

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According to Joan Rivers you have to be dressed wonderfully on the red carpet when you are critisizing others.  And while I think the red furry coat thing is a bit much she does look nice on the surface clothing wise.  And I like Joan Rivers but now when I see her  I just watch her upper lip to see if it moves when she talks.  You can over do the botox or whatever she has going on there.  But then,  with this red dress she has on... purple shoes.  Purple and red and she's giving reviews of how others are dressed??  

Her daughter looks stunning in black and shiney things! 

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Thanks Kenneth..

I'd been wanting to change the name of my blog.  Illusive Thoughts sounds like I have ..uhm.. erm..what's the name of that .. I forgot, Oh, Alzheimers.

Digital Dreams.  It's a comical reference to his last comment yet.. I liked it.  I don't like to take what I didn't make up, without giving credit where credit is due...so thank you for that idea.

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Wasn't it me that posted the 12 step program for email addiction?

And.. it's me that just sent myself email to make sure my email works.

However, in my defense this behaviour is not the norm but I've been waiting for pictures from my brother that I haven't seen in well.. since 1969. So, I'm anxious.

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Sunday.  All day Sunday I look forward to Desperate Housewives.  How can you miss a show that a woman is willing to mow a lawn in an evening gown?  I mean.. haven't we all dreamed of doing this? 

It's just a show that is real life mixed with enough bizaare to make it comical..laughable.  And I do like to laugh!

But tonight I'll be deprived of the ladies and gentlemen on Wisteria Lane so we can watch yet another awards show.  How many awards need passed out for the same thing?   Do we need to watch this much ego stroking?  Heck NO! 

We need to know if Bree's ladder coincendently broke or if someone tried to kill her... or if the pizzeria will have enough chairs,  or is that Kyle using the ring Mark bought before his accident as an engagement ring?? ...  these are the important things in life! 

Either that or I need to get a real life and that option might be the one I should check in to? 

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So.. I am not sure how much snow is out there.  I think six feet!  Oh wait.. I am being a wee bit melodramatic.  Perhaps five to six inches on a guess??  Being originally from San Diego I rather hate snow and much prefer the milder climate of S. California.  Were instead of snow we could have flowers right now.

Flowers is off topic.. Six inches of snow on the ground and people start to shovel.  My husband shovels in shifts.  That way there isn't as much to shovel at one time.  This is important because it does get heavy and he does do the sidewalks of the neighbors to each side of us,  the couple across the street that aren't as able to shovel and the house on the corner;  friends of  his that have moved but their house has yet to be sold.  That's a lot of shoveling so it's much easier to do a few inches at a time.

Now, about the time the rest of the neighborhood starts to shovel the plow finally comes and makes one pass over the street.  This means that only one lane is  semi clear.  So,  what do a few of the lovely neighbors do?  Shovel their snow right back out into the street. 

Prior to the plow the snow was at least somewhat flat.  Snow tossed by the shovel fulls into the now cleared road tends to be lumpy and the bottoms of cars were dragging over the snow trying to get through.   Or, rather than stop shoveling and stepping back when a car comes they stay right out there trying to dig their car out which makes drivers seem uncomfortable trying to navigate the hill. 

I admit, it did make for entertaining viewing before the plow came watching people trying to get up the hill.  Which, is why I don't drive in the snow.  One year,  a car was pushing another car which was dumb.  When they got stuck and blocked the trash truck the trash truck tried to push both of them and got himself stuck too.  Nope, I won't get on the road with that kind of idiotic driving.

I simply can't wait until spring! 

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I am evil.. just plain evil, eh?

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Last night was a comedy show we've had tickets for since the comedian was booked.. and some friends went with us.  The evening was fun, entertaining and ended with the news on the answering machine that the stress test I had the other day was good.  I apparently can go back to excersizing again.  <insert an appropriate amount of enthusiasm here for me cause I sure don't have it!>

My husband is working today,  my son moving from his apartment to a rented house.  It sucks when you can supposedly afford to pay rent but don't qualify to buy a house.  For that matter,  why can't they build houses that are more like starter houses.  You know,  a couple bedrooms, a bathroom.. maybe two.. just a small house?  Oh, I know, I know.. people were buying these big huge monsters so builders make more money off of a lot than they do if they make a small house.  In the meantime,  you have an entire generation of people that can no longer afford to purchase a house because all the homes being built are out of most people's reasonable price range.

Oh, sure,  variable interest rates, roll over this and that and you can afford a house.  Until the interest rates go up.  Then,  people were selling left and right.  

I went to Tiffany's once.  It's in one of my favorite movies.. Breakfast at Tiffany's.  It was wonderful!  Of course,  we were there for a bike, motorcycle ride and dressed accordingly so people kept suggesting we go down stairs were we might better find something affordable.  They were right but darnnit.. I just wanted to look!   And.. dream.  

The second and last time we were there my husband had saved money to let me buy something from Tiffany's. I went through the entire store so I could find the absolute cheapest, or near cheapest thing.  Even cheap it would still be good cause it was from.. Tiffany's.  The more I looked the more I was ready to settle for something,  like oh, I don't know,  a paper plate!    I knew our credit cards and checkbooks said I should get the hell out of there while the getting was good!  

I did find a silver necklace.  It's a chain looking thing with a heart shaped charm that I could take to any jeweler or Wal-Mart to be engraved.  It was clunky looking and not my favorite thing but it was from..yeah, you got it..Tiffany's.  Only there is one major,  major problem.  I am apparently allergic to silver!!  

So, there it sits on the shelf,  in the blue Tiffany colored velvet Tiffany's bag,  in the  same colored box with a satin ribbon around it and in the Tiffany's colored bag.  Just.. sitting there being my own personal Tiffany's gift.  Not long ago I tried to wrap it around my wrist much like a bracelet.  It didn't look good but eh.. apparently I can't wear silver on my wrists either.  

Anyway, hope you all have a good weekend.. for now I'm going to quit rambling and jumping subjects. 

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Hopefully,  this will be the last post on this topic but I use this forum to say all the things I don't want to say.. then I can move on.  Unless it comes time to celebrate of course.

So, I did not call older daughter up. ( See prior post.. I forget sometimes others read this!)  That would be a waste of time and only cause more problems but I did call younger one.  I told her I was sorry she had to hear all that from big sister but big sister couldn't speak for everyone. You see,  all along we've been vocal about our concerns.  And I got to thinking about that...  what on earth could have been said to make it all so .. ugly?  Nothing.  Older daughter doesn't even call here or return my calls so she hasn't a clue what we think beyond issues that make us worry.   And the youngest already knows of these issues. 

My youngest one understood when I explained I couldn't answer her very well cause I went straight to angry with older daughter without thinking.  She's known since day one when he made me feel uncomfortable in my own home that I did not at all like the way he speaks to me or her.  She's known all this.  I explained that nothing has changed,  we are concerned which doesn't necessarily equate to dislike.  ( I'd like him much better if he grew up or moved out...I didn't say that.) we don't understand things he does like purchases for him, EXPENSIVE ones at that,  but the bills aren't all paid.  Then she said the wrong thing.. she doesn't work right now, he supports her so she doesn't really have a say.

Uhm,  dear,  does he come home and that baby is alive?  You've worked.  He's one of those that can't figure out what she does all day.  I was tempted to suggest she simply not do what she does and he'll figure it out!!  In retrospect though,  my ex husband was the same way.  He earned the money therefore it was his.  It was not until I was older that I could fully appreciate how this thinking was totally flawed.  And, while my thinking changed my ex's didn't... just his residence. ( For clarity, my current husband raised her so I don't know where she got that thinking.)

But, she has something I didn't have.  I lived in Germany with the ex and four kids.  My friends were his friends.  I was fairly isolated.  My daughter isn't. She has family that will always remind her of right and wrong.. even when she's the one that's wrong and eventually.. when she decides she doesn't have to defend him we will be back to party planning stage.   

Hopefully, after this I will return to my normally scheduled blogging.  For what that's worth. 

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 (( No, I did not send this.. probably won't either..maybe I should.  I just know I'm hating this drama going on right now!!))

Dear Kiddo,

 I'd talk about this over the phone but you get frustrated and want to get off before you hear anyone out.. and I guess I understand that.

I think first what I want to say is that when your sister speaks you really must learn to take only half of what she says and only swallow that with several grains of salt.   She honestly has no right speaking for everyone.  Only for herself.

As for me,  and note I speak for nobody but myself.. I wouldn't go so far as to say I do not like your man.  But, you put me on the spot so I will say this.

I came from an abusive background.  Mentally and physically abusive.  I worked every day to try and learn how to raise you kids differently and I want nothing more in life than to know you are never treated as I was nor are my grandchildren.  So when he hollers at a pregnant woman for not getting laundry done,  using words my own husband doesn't use with me,  it worries me.

He speaks his peace with me in a manner that is as far as I'm concerned very disrespectful any time he disagrees with me.  If he can treat YOUR mother this way,  then every time he does that and you leave, I worry about how he treats you.   I am sure you don't speak to his parents with a disrespectful tone and I know, I'd smack you if I heard that.  It's just not right. If I don't accept that from strangers, in fact don't want to be spoken to disrespectfully by my very own children then it stands to reason that I don't like it from ANYONE.  It doesn't matter who it is but everyone deserves a little civility even during disagreements. 

Take it one further and if he's disrespectful to you and I.. how is he going to treat the baby when he gets old enough to start getting frustrating?    

Those aren't dislikes.. they are very real concerns of mine.  

But, there is more.  Sure Tom's van was a pain.  Unfortunately he's that last minute way with everyone and yes it annoys people, not just your man.  But,  some of us simply don't understand why,  when you guys need the money, he'd walk away from making $150.00.  No, the pay's not good but it's more than Zero.  Why is my pregnant daughter hungry and he's walking away from $150.00?  Yes, Tom already took it apart which makes it harder for David but some money is better than no money.

There are those of us, namely me,  that do not understand how he can in good conscience spend money for high perferomance parts on a car he can't drive when there are bills to be paid.  I know he needs tools to make money but he doesn't have to start out with the best if doing so puts you further into debt.  Get his feet on the ground and build up rather than sacrifice other important things makes more sense.  But for himself he only likes the best and it LOOKS like he doesn't care who has to sacrifice what to get the best.  Rather like our Harley's..  they did not come until you guys were older and we had the money.  Family first.. priorities. 

See, keep in mind what I know.  Craig worked extra days, even Sundays to try and get the things you needed and some of what you wanted.  Rollerblades for one was a side job.  Not a car for him or a motorcycle for him but his family came first.  With David it SEEMS like family comes second.  

I repeat,  these aren't dislikes, they are concerns.  To tell the truth,  it doesn't matter if anyone other than you likes him.  But given people have concerns about him then if we are wrong your plan to just not bring him around those of us that (according to someone else, ) don't like .. will him only add fuel to that.  

It is not up to you to make everyone like him it is up to him.  When he finds himself among a family that believes in following the law like I do,  then he shouldn't make me feel stupid.   He wants me to do his taxes and yet makes me feel like I'm ignorant because I believe that if he earns income he should claim it on his taxes.  That was another conversation he made me feel like an idiot for.  I claim income from all customers.  I don't cheat and he thinks it's okay to do so.  I can't tell him if he should pay his taxes or not but don't assume because we have our own business that I cheat.  

But all that said, it tears at my heart when I hear him cuss at you.  I cry when he can tell you all you had to do all fucking day (3 hours) was laundry,  when in truth you had to drive him to and from work,  take him to run errands.  He has you and now he has a son it is time for him to be a man, a loving responsible man.  Until that time, I will worry about you and the baby.  And keeping him away will only make me worry even more.

Perhaps I am lucky but I wake up each day and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am loved and cherished.  I am spoiled and I love the man for it.  I'd be happy if you kids had half of what I have and when I don't see it I worry.   So, it's not up to you to change anything it's up to David.  You wanted the truth you got it.  If you don't have enough respect between each other to speak even civily.. yes, i worry.  That tears at the heart, it will tear at your self esteem.. and it WILL affect my grandson and my daughter.  

And,  don't ever take what your sister says as gospel truth because to be concerned isn't necessarily equated to dislike.  We all erred.. We spoke our frustrations rather than burden you with it and she didn't respect that confidentiality and in fact turned it around on all of us.  For that I'm sorry.  

It's tough to be loved by a bunch of people that only want you to be happy, huh?  

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I've already explained my daughter and our hope that she doesn't marry the man she's with.  Anyone with children knows the best tactic is to keep your trap shut no matter how much you want to speak your peace.  Why?  You put the very child you wish to save in the spot that now she's defending him.

So... with that in mind I have this fake smile I wear just for those occasions.

Today I talked to her on the phone and she thought I'd heard she'd gotten in a big fight with bad dude.   I was picturing the dancing here with all of you,  the celebration was silently starting as she explained that she packed the baby up and went to spend the weekend with my OLDER Daughter,  whom at this moment I'm tempted to refer to as "Dumbass." But.. I won't.

Older daughter apparently told this younger daughter how nobody liked her boyfriend and everyone .. God only knows what she said but God,  couldn't you have just made her start choking?  Nothing bad.. just a temporary, shut your mouth kindof thing?  

So, today younger daughter confronts me about this and I tried to explain that it isn't that we dislike him but we do not like the way he talks to you.  I can't undo what Older Daughter did and it sounds like if she heard a morsel from someone, older daughter made it bigger than it was.  

That celebration going on in my head?  It was quickly turning to thoughts of ripping out someone's tongue.   She was always the manipulative one of the bunch and if she wanted to help she failed miserably,  if she wanted to make sure everyone was hurt she did a good job.  

I had to get off the phone and without lying didn't know what to say to her.  Now,  when we thought maybe this was coming to an end she's in that spot I didn't want her to be.. defending him.  Defending him keeps her closer and in fact she's said she doesn't know what to do but to not bring him around all of us since we don't like him according to her older sister.  That just makes her tied even further to him and we don't see her or her baby.  

It would make sense to call older dumb..erm..daughter up and give her a piece of my mind but her phone works more than one way and she'd be on the phone to little daughter causing even more trouble.   These kids were so cute when they were young...what happened?

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 ( Spirited Minikin, hope I spelled it correctly) asked if there was a 12 step program for internet period.  I found this and thought I'd share.  I couldn't tell if it had pop up's so I just copy and pasted it here but it came from anvari.org.. enjoy.  I feel I must point out that I don't necessarily agree with all of those steps. )

1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Internet.

2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.

3) I will get dressed before noon.

4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Internet.

5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Internet-deprived.

6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Internet.

7) I will read a book...if I still remember how.

8) I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Internet.

9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.

10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.

11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Internet.

12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime...and the Internet will always be there tomorrow!

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Are you addicted to email?? Here is a 12 step program for you. In fact, you don't even have to leave the house or your computer to attend meetings.. the meetings, as I understood the news, come to you in your email.

Maybe I'm wrong but wouldn't that defeat the purpose? Either way I know I'm not giving up my computer!!

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So, my daughter just had a baby last month with her boyfriend now fiance. We've all held our breath hoping she wouldn't marry this guy. I will give you one example, though there are many, she brought their clothes to my house to wash. She had to drive him to work first cause his lisence is suspended. So she got here about 10:00 am.. she did laundry until about 1:00 or so when my son's daughter spilled red juice on the kitchen rug. My daughter got out of the laundry so I could get the rug in the washer before it stained, then he called to be picked up by 2:00.. so she left before 2:00. She had 3 hours, 4 hours to do their laundry.. tops.

He got there and she wasn't done with it and he started to holler at her and said all she had to do all fucking day long was their laundry. This is MY daughter he spoke to like this. I was seething but I tried to smooth it over, I apologized for the spill and needing to use my own washing machine. And in the face of that apology he just looked at me and said, "Spray and wash would have worked."

They are my friggin' machines. Not his. None of the other of MY kids bring their laundry home to do so why does she have to bring his here.. then tell me I can wait? But, I bit my tongue hard because my daughter was blind and I knew if I said any more she's the one that would hear about it.

Thankfully my husband was in a different room and missed the whole thing. You don't holler at our daughter like he did and get away with it. What I did not realize is that my son, by the grace of God, was standing there holding his daughter. Apparently my son did not take kindly to this person running his mouth to his sister and ESPECIALLy me and was ready to kick his ass but couldn't cause of his daughter that he's trying to get custody of.

This is how he treats me, it's how he treats her and I don't want to imagine what he's like when we aren't around.

So.. rumor has it, she's been calling someone else in the middle of the night. In fact, my husband just called and said our daughter called him and asked if he wanted to come kick the soccer ball around with her. He pointed out that he'd love to but there is too much ice. I'm not sure what all he's gotten out of that conversation yet and what he's heard from elsewhere but he has a feeling this relationship is nearing an end.

He also told me I am not aloud to gloat. Damn. So, yes, I'm praying hard that she doesn't marry him. That maybe, just maybe it is coming to an end because she deserves someone that won't speak her with such UNkind words. That will not run his mouth to her parents because all that does is drive a wedge between her and her family. She deserves someone that will love her.. flaws and all.

So.. I won't gloat. I'll just come here. And, sorry, if this relationship ends, if he's no longer around to speak to her like he does, nothing will stop me from doing a happy dance. I'll just do it in private.

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Anna Mae He is currently at the center of a custody battle.  When she was three weeks old her parents relinquished custody of their daughter to another family.  Supposedly so the child could get medical insurance.  And supposedly they understood this to be a temporary measure.  The ruling says that the parents didn't have full knowledge of what the consequenses were. 

The family that this child is being taken away from has raised her for the past 8 years.  You cannot give custody of your child to someone then want to came take the child back. Have the child spend 8 years living with this family, being raised and loved adn cherished as their own then rip this child from the safety and security of what she knows is family.. and home.   I've been there once.

We had our grand daughter for 2 years.  The first one admittedly was while she was in kindergarten and I had her all day but she went home most evenings.  The next year she simply lived with us.  She didn't want to leave and we, in the short time that we had her,  felt as if we'd lost a child of our own.   Had I known then what I know now my daughter never would have gotten this child,  this angel back.  

This was traumatic on both sides. Oh, don't worry.  Apparently my daughter made it much easier for my grandaughter to go home and told her we TOOK her.  Conveniently leaving out the part of the drug raid that led up to us offering to keep her for awhile.  Something my daughter agreed to willingly.  Maybe that hurt worse than anything was that outright lie that made us become the equivelant to kidnappers in this child's eyes.   We don't hear from her either.  She's been gone two years.  They come and collect Christmas presents and leave.  

So, I've been there.  I've walked in those shoes and know you can't just tear a child away from the home she knew, the family she knew.  If you can't take care of a child don't have one!  Otherwise, accept the consequences of what you do.

Just so this is clear I know there might be some occasions when it is helpful if someone can take your child on a temporary basis.  I can't think of any myself but I'm sure it happens.  Temporary,  when dealing with children is charted in a matter of months not years.  

I think the child, Anna should be able to stay with the family that raised her.   

<a href="http://www.myeyewitnessnews.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=a56de018-7c86-48b3-878f-56ffb2af0881">Anna Mae</a> 

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My father died about 12 years ago.  I never knew he had money because he was so miserly but according to the lady he was married to for the last five years of his life,  he'd felt very guilty for things that happened in his children's life that he had absolutely no control over.  I do not hold him responsible nor would I ever but he himself never could let go of the guilt.  He did the only thing he knew to do to try and make ammends.. he saved every penny he could with the intention of leaving it to my brother and I. 

Before he died I knew my brother was to get all the outdoor items and tools,  and some other things and I was to get all the "house" things.   Shortly before my dad died he changed his will so that the woman he was married to those last five years could remain in the house and the will was changed so that everything would go to her so I couldn't take and empty the house on her and leave her with nothing.  He did not clarify that upon her death I was to get it.  

For the most part this wasn't an issue.  I wanted three things.. my mom's Indian Statue,  my mom's chaise lounge,  and my grandmother's stained glass windows.  I got the statue but my mother's chaise lounge she wouldn't let me take because my dad made her sell her's.  But, my grandmother's stained glass windows that are priceless antiques and hang indoors?  She wouldn't let me take those either.  I was named after my grandmother .. they have sentimental value to me and I couldn't have them.

Then,  there is the matter of the house.  When my dad died it was paid off.  She told me prior to his death that he wanted her to pay taxes and insurance,  and of course her utilities.  She AGREED to this!  Then, as soon as he died,  she charged first taxes and insurance to the estate because they told her she could.  Then, she started charging her water bill to the estate and claimed it as 'fire prevention.'   So,  we pay for her to shower,  clean her dishes,  everything and she expended NO money on water during the last wild fire.    

This house had no debts against it.  None. It was paid off.  The money my dad left was to pay for major repairs.  This is what we were all told while he was alive.  But the paperwork was not done correctly and she got all of it until she dies at which time the house is to be sold and the money split between my brother and I.  I was FINE with this.

What I wasn't fine with is when she took a loan out against the house and has been only paying the interest payment with money she uses from the estate.  So, she is depleting the funds and the loan faster than any normal person would.  Finally,  over a year ago,  her daughter called my brother saying this woman wanted to sell the house,  pay off the debt she's incurred and then split the money three ways.  This was NOT part of my dad's will or trust.. no where is it there. 

I contacted a lawyer who in turn turned it over to the appropriate people.  I did not contest the fact that she lived in the house I did however, contest to the offer to sell the house and she take what she's already spent plus a third.. a third that will go to her children and not the children that were intended to receive it, ultimately his grandchildren.

I contested that our annual statements of expenditures included bounced check fees,  a new koi fountain and the upkeep of that, to include the fish. Now, if she needs to repair the roof which is what the money was for not fish, she doesn't have the moeny!  And no,  we were not consulted when she spent money.  The list goes on.. there are expenditures in there that we have no clue what they are for.  It's just someone's name and for years we've been asking for a better accounting than just names.  At no time did I want her removed from the house.. though the end result is that in our doing that the cost of her lawyer comes from the estate too.  So we were paying our lawyer and hers too.  

Through it all she couldn't be bothered to learn the names of my dad's grandchildren.  She called two of my

children et and al.  It isn't the money so much as it is that I used to call her and all I heard was how much she loved my dad then wanted us to spend our personal money to put a swimming pool in for her.  She was allowed to live in the house but not make changes.. See this house was my mom and dads.. they built it.  It was their dream house.  A spanish style house and my dad had spanish tile around the fireplace .. he adamanttly refused to let her put in mantles.  As soon as he died, she had COLonial mantles put on spanish style fireplaces.  

And, because of what she perceives as us trying to contest the will,  she's prepared to have us removed from the trust,  which she can do.  But we didn't contest that.. we contested this selling and her getting the bills plus one third.. which is Not part of the will.

It isn't even so much about money as it is.. honor.  It's about respecting that my grandmother's windows should have come home with me.  Oh yeah,  she told me to come get them then when I got there said..no.  How can she say she loved my dad and then take what he wanted his children to have?  

Originally she had only three years to live in the house then it was to be sold.  Understandably he didn't want her out on the streets so he changed it until she died or remarried but everything else remained the same.  It would be nice to help my kids get in to their own houses instead of pay for her to live in my dad's house.  It would be nice to not struggle financially every day.. it would be nice to know when one of my father's grandchildren is HOMELESS... his money can go toward helping them get on their feet.  My son wants to get custody of his daughter.. he could use the money but even to my kids it's not about my dad's money but honor.  

It's about honoring your word,  respecting my dad's wishes.  We could have had her kicked out at the end of three years.  For one we didn't know this and we still didn't want her kicked out but do want her to quit spending money that she shouldn't spend.  It's about following through with what my dad wanted.  

You can't make a person be honorable.  And I guess in time she will have to meet her maker.  Just make sure you don't just TRUST your word will be followed when you die.  As soon as my dad died she was all about money.  None of us knew how much he had and it floored us but  it's been about how she changed and she became all about money.  My father had her and her children set for life and now she's taking what was for his children and grandchildren.. and apparently willing to try and take it all.  

I'm sorry.. I could handle all of this better if, from day one she was honest about who she was instead of giving me this "I love him so much line."  Clearly she loved his money and despite everyone saying this I wanted to believe she was better than that.  How sorely mistaken I was.  

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Redneck Catfish.
  Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But, all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic....And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.
  The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.
  The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass.....and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic."
  Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood.
  The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.
  There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted:
  You wuz born a Deer, you wuz raised a Deer, but now you a Catfish.

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A couple weeks ago I went to my bank and opened bank accounts for my grandchildren.  These accounts are for them when they become adults so either my social security number or the child's social security number was required.  This was required for natural born citizens of the United States.

Now, I hear that Bank of America has started to allow people with no social security number to get not just checking accounts but credit cards too.  The requirment for the credit card is three months of checking account with no bounced checks.  

I'm not sure why I find this offensive.  Perhaps because there were hoops I had to jump through for everything I've done financially.  And I'm a citizen of this country.  It took me YEARS, not months,  to be able to build up enough credit that I could,  with the appropriate Social Security number and other proper ID get a credit card.   

Just one more thing that in my eyes does a disservice to all those immigrants that came to this country in prior years and followed all the laws to reside in this country. 

I heard on the television the other day someone stating something that seems very true.. but I can't quote it exact however it was basically ..  "I don't think American's are against immigration.  I think they are against ILLEGAL immigration."   Is it too much to ask that we all follow the same laws? 

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I just ordered pizza. It will be interesting to see if I get the pizza I ordered. The lady talked so fast I had no clue what she was saying. Eventually I started to feel bad for asking her to please slow down and repeat herself. I'm glad they took the thirty minute time limit off your pizza too. I don't know if I'm right but I just figure I'd stand better chances of getting a warm pizza if the driver gets here in one piece!

Nothing else went on today. Nada. It was a boring day. I'm tired of being cooped up cause of the ice. I will be oh so glad when Spring comes! I was messaging Mary, Mary back and forth a few times and decided that since I haven't been to Disneyworld this would be the perfect time to go, yes?

If only I could just squeeze out enough money from my very empty wallet to take that trip I just might!

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